Aging is like parenthood--It does not come with an instruction manual!

Most of us grow older by stumbling forward instead of consulting the many books written about aging. Aging is something that happens to other folks, but not me!

People who entered retirement 10-20 years ago, would rather eat worms than ask for assistance. Their generation was spawned during the great depression. They grew up accustomed to "making do" with whatever resource they had at their disposal.

As a child of a depression-era child, I heard all about "working all week for a chicken" and "making dresses out of sack cloth". I equated those stories to "walking to school in the snow, 5 miles uphill in both directions". My parents could squeeze a nickel so hard, the indian would ride the buffalo!

The past few years of working with the senior population has afforded me a new respect for todays survivors of the past 7 decades. Those folks have true grit. There was NEVER a challenge they could not collectively conquer. Can you say World War II, Panama Canal, Apollo space mission?

But I've found that when people like my father need help with aging issues, they will not ask for it. Their bar is set back in those depression days. In their minds, they will be OK--since they've lived through worse times.

I am totally dumbfounded when I learn someone has gone without eating after coming home from the hospital--either their kids were not around to cook/care for them or they lacked a social circle to look after them.

They are unaware that a local, non-profit agency like Meals on Wheels will deliver food to their door on a daily basis while they were homebound for little or no cost. They do not know that companies like Schwans and Golden Cuisine will ship tasty, prepackaged, ready to eat meals to them.

Then, I step back and realize--from their prospective, asking for help is a sign of weakness.

How many of our parents or neighbors have gone without services because they are unaware that low or no cost help is available to them? After receiving the assistance, they are able to remain independent longer. All they have to do, is ask for it.

It is our responsibility to open our eyes and see what's happening to those around us.

One of my clients relayed how she had put her son through medical school. She is very independent and asks nothing of her children--other than they be good, responsible citizens. She was crushed when her son did not realize she was running out of food before the end of the month. She would carefully ration her food, but often she went 1-2 days without eating.

I asked her if her son opened her refrigerator or cupboards when he came to visit? She responded that even though he lived less that 2 miles away, he hadn't been to visit her home in over 6 months. Without trying to draw conclusions, it was apparent--the son had no ESP ability. I asked her why she didn't ask him for help? She responded that it was his duty to know she needed assistance and she would never ask her kids for anything unless they offered it on their own accord. (Just like my dad!)

How many times have you witnessed someone slipping rolls from the buffet line into their purse or pocket? I've snickered and vowed never to do that when I got older. Now I understand that those rolls may be their breakfast tomorrow!

There are services available in your community for any situation (i.e. home care, health care, pet sitting, grooming, meals, social activities, transportation, etc.)

Use the "Google Search" bar to find help for yourself or loved one. You will be amazed at the resources at your fingertips to help you become a better steward for your elders.

We never want to overstep our self-imposed boundaries with our neighbors or parents. But, many seniors are computer phobic and do not know how to find the information. Nor, do they know that help is available.

When given in kindness, a printed article or resource information from the internet can make a difference in someone's life.

Allowing someone to retain their pride is one of the kindest acts we can commit. I pass on information by saying, I ran across this article and thought you may know someone who may be able to use it.

My parents are now both gone. There isn't a day goes by that I wish I could ask their advice about something. After they transistioned into their next life, I realized that it was too late. I've learned that time is the only commodity that costs you nothing, yet reaps great rewards.

Take time to visit with your parents or elders. Try to find activities you can enjoy together. Ask them about certain periods of their life (i.e. when you were dating, where did you go what did you do?) Listen to their stories. Try to read between the lines. You can learn alot of family history by asking questions. Try to be an active participant in their lives.

Because of the nature of my business, I maintain a golden rolodex. When my clients need something, I ask them to call me. If I don't know how to help them, I know someone who does.

Be bold and bravely offer solutions to make someone's life better.